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Random thought:

Sometimes, it seems that bisexuals just can't fucking win.

If you end up with someone of the same sex, homosexuals congratulate themselves on finally getting you past the "trial" stage, because bisexuals are just afraid to admit their true preference.

If you end up with someone of the opposite sex, it was just an "experimental phase" that you got through and now you're back on the right family making track.

When I fall in love, I just fall in love. What I find between their legs is infinitely less important than what's between their ears. I prefer women, but since I ended up with a guy and had a kid that doesn't matter to certain people. It's like I'm being humored! "Yeah. Suuuure you like girls..."

Men are easier. Women are more attractive. That's how it is for me. Stop assuming I'm this perfectly normal straight girl, just because I've got a kid and don't shave my head! Life is hard enough, without people thinking that my sexual preference either doesn't exist, or it's just an excuse to get laid more.

At this point, I don't give a shit about having sex ever again in my life. I just want someone to love. I'm not a hedonist. I just don't think love should have limits.

I got talked into joining Facebook. I blame people I know IRL, because I swore I'd never join another site like that. But, there I am...

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This should be...interesting.

eta: Also? I blame WoW folks. Half my guild is on there!

So, I've had an eye infection for, uh, longer than I should. (I'm stubborn and scared of doctors and have no insurance, shush.) It spread from my blind eye to my good eye, and day before yesterday it started munching on my ear. And so, after much "I don't want to be a bother to anyone" I finally agreed to let my dad take me to a doctor and pay for the visit and the prescriptions.

Also, in the last few days, it started to effect my eyesight. I thought at first it was just eye goop from the infection getting in the way, but it's more than that. So, I haven't read my friends list, or much of anything, in the last three or four days. The subtitles on Kyou Kara Maou are big enough that I've been curled up around my laptop watching that, but that's about the extent of it.

I should be better in a few days. I don't know if my stupidity/fear will have any lasting and lingering repercussions, but we'll see. (Honestly, scared about this. WITH my glasses on, I could make out the third line of the eye chart. Barely. It's that bad. And I don't want that to be permanent.)

There's a LOT more going on. I can't begin to go into it all, seriously. But, you guys don't read my LJ to listen to me whine about RL crap anyway... haha

Checking this over for spelling mistakes/typos is getting a little irritating on my eye, so I'm stopping now. Just...I'm on antibiotics, the doctor wasn't scary OR condescending for a change, and I should be better in a few days, if anyone was worried.

I've been keeping an eye on Dreamwidth for ages now, and I'm happy to say I finally have an account.

Same name as this journal. It's who I am, after all these years.

If you're over there, please add me to your circle. I need to populate my reading list. Otherwise, it'll get pretty boring over there.

I don't know how often I'll crosspost. We'll see how it goes, who shows up over there, and that sort of thing. I already prefer how their ToS and privacy policy seems so open about their motivations and reasoning. It's not impersonal. It's not dumbed down, but it's not obfuscated behind jargon and legal technicalities.

Most of all, they give you the option to give a description of your icons for people who can't view them, and use blind people using readers as an example. That gave me warm fuzzies and made me think immediately of twilightspirit and that she'd be pleased about that. I'm hoping that the atmosphere around there will be similar to what LJ was when I first joined back in 2001 as maryinxanth.

I hope to see everyone over there.

I was all set to vent about how people are on this witch hunt for Mary Sues, and it's annoying, and I wish they'd get over it...

Instead, I headed to the WoW forums. The general forums. I saw a suicide note get mocked and then locked down. That made me feel a bit down, and then I saw this thread: http://forums.worldofwarcraft.com/thread.html?topicId=16137075626&sid=1&pageNo=1

Random acts of kindness.

If people on the general WoW forum can be nice, I guess there's still some hope for humanity.

I do wish more people would at least make some sort of attempt to be nice, kind, or gracious. To see more positive things in the world around you. The never ending need to tear others down is really depressing. So, go find something nice in something someone else has done, and go be nice to someone else.

I spent a LOT of time on WoW last week. A little bit of escapism, a little bit of trying to get ahead. I was a bit on the irresponsible side with it, but Anakin was out of school for two weeks for spring break and so it was hard to do something that requires a lot of concentration like writing or editing. I guess I can kinda "blame" my lack of productivity on him, but now that he's back in school it's time to get back into the swing of things.

This weekend I had another break in the routine, and boy did it shake me up! I haven't been to a concert in 10 years.

I feel like I need to pause and emphasize that for a moment. Ten years. Okay, just shy of ten years by five months? Nine and a half years? Close enough.

For someone who, once upon a time, music was my LIFE...that was rough. desert_dragon42 was kind enough to drag me out of the house (kicking and screaming) and remind me what I'm missing.

A good concert for me is positively orgasmic. It's earth-shattering. It's mind-altering. I completely lose myself and become one with the music, and time stops, and it's everything I wish sex was.

No, really.

We saw Disturbed on Saturday. I think I can honestly say it was the best concert I've been to. There's some tough competition there, especially since I saw Kiss at the height of my obsession with them, but this was better. I went in knowing that I really like some of their music and that I'd appreciate it, and I walked out with a new musical obsession. Right now I'm listening to them while I edit "Wings of a Fallen Angel", and it's perfect. I know I'll be using some of their songs to write to, especially for climactic scenes that need a lot of energy and emotion. I'll also be hunting for Lacuna Coil songs later, because their music made me go weak in the knees. (The other bands were great for seeing live, but nothing I could write to.)

I'm still riding on the musical high. I've missed this feeling so much. I really hope I don't have to wait another ten years to get here again.

p.s.
I took wow_ladies off of my friends list this morning. I might actually be able to keep up with posts for a change! It's amazing how much pure garbage I no longer have to skim past...

I am not replying to posts on wow_ladies anymore.

UGH!

That's twice, in one week, where I've tried to say, "Hey, you might want to look at it from a different perspective, and realize that the other person in this might not be crazy/stupid/evil/whatever." And they both went drama emo on my ass. One did a flounce that was maybe five posts away from being worthy of fandom wank, and the other just deleted her post as soon as people weren't kissing her ass and agreeing that her "friend" was crazy.

I'm a little pissed about that last one. We'd started an interesting discussion about D&D, and it got deleted as I was replying to it. Bitch.

Keeping this short, because my right wrist is in bad shape today and I'm (mostly) keeping off the keyboard to give it time to recover.

Yesterday, day 6:
Free lunch, even if I had to put up with my mother and downtown Phoenix for it.

Day 7:
Realizing that I'm proud of the writing skill I've gained by listening to all the feedback and criticism I've received over the years. I keep learning, and growing, and I've come to actually like what I write. ^_^

(Going now...because OWIE!)

Day 2:

I have laryngitis. Okay, that shouldn't make me happy. But, it makes me happy that it's a) not strep throat and b) MY VOICE SOUNDING FUNNY GIVES ME GIGGLES LIKE MAD.

Seriously.

If I have to be sick, I want laryngitis. Of all the germs Anakin could bring home from school with him, this is the funnest.

(Yeah, my throat hurts, and I've had a fever off and on the last few days, but FUNNY VOICE! Woot!)

1. Post about something that made you happy today even if it's just a small thing.
2. Do this every day for a week without fail.
3. Tag 8 of your friends to do the same.

Day 1: So far, this is what's really made me happy. It makes me want to level one of my hunters. (I'm WoW-geeking today. Deal with it. lol)

Tagging...uh... (This is hard. I'm out of practice on tagging people.) obsessed1, tyasante, jupiter_star, desert_dragon42, silentrequiem, uminohikari, twilightspirit, and smalltimejazz.

Come on. We all need a reason to be reminded of something happy for a week. Spread the joy.

And, I'd like to add, THANK YOU to everyone who replied to my last entry. It meant a lot to me. The depression isn't gone yet, but...it's a little more manageable. It comes and goes...and it hardly ever actually goes when I'm sick. Stupid second cold in one month...grrrr...

Things have been a little stressy/busy here, so I haven't been working on fanfic. I'm back to poking at Elemental. (I'm most of the way through chapter 11. Woohoo? bleh)

Anywho, it seems like nobody's really that interested in my fanfic anymore anyway. So, thanks to the two people who expressed some interest. I appreciate it. But, I'm going to just go back to writing whenever the mood hits me and posting without a beta whenever I've got something worth sharing.

(If anybody is willing to send chocolate, I might be able to use it to distract the Evil PMS Fairy and the Evil Depression Fairy a while. If not...I'll take good vibes? Sure, on a scale of 1-10 in the lives of my friends right now, my paltry depression is a -75, but it's still getting in my way and I would be grateful for, uh, something? Anything? Just a little nod in my direction and a reminder that the world would not be a better place without my presence in it? Thanks.)

I think I'll be abandoning my WoW filter, guys. I went and got myself one of those new-fangled blog things. hahaha

So, I'll be back to using LJ as my writing/fandom outlet, and my blog is WoW-specific. If you're the blogging type, give me a poke. I'm TRYING to update it M-F, at least once a day, hopefully some time before noon (local). I'm starting out with rambles about my various characters, but there are other things.

Anyway, I've managed to spruce it up enough that I don't mind guests. lol So, if you're interested, check it out.

http://wowaltitis.blogspot.com/

I'll work on making it prettier some time in the near future. Any ideas/suggestions are welcome.

So. Anybody want to beta for me? I'm working on chapters 9 and 10 of Riding the Wave, as well as a few CCS fics. I need someone to poke at me when I'm lazy, cheer at me when I'm discouraged, and read things probably weeks before anybody else will since I'm no longer posting WIPs for general consumption. Your primary duty will be to point out dropped plot threads, drive trucks through plot holes, and rub forgotten details in my face. Oh, and if you can spot typos, that's a bonus. AIM is a plus, but not necessary. My days off are Saturdays and Wednesdays, when I'm raiding. haha

OMFG!

I am filled with so much wanting that I have not known in a very long time. Days, at least.

Bwahahahaha!

(And now, back to knitting and trying to get better. I hate being sick... -_- )

Happy Valentine's Day, all of you. I hope that however you're celebrating it, or not celebrating it, the day is a good one for you.

We're not really celebrating it here. Well, the wolf cub and I aren't...the kiddo did his obligatory pigging out on chocolate he got from school yesterday, and more candy that my mother so thoughtfully brought. =/ It was enough that my brother had the brilliant idea of trying to instate a new rule that Anakin can't eat any candy the next day if he didn't eat supper the night before. His wife and I looked at each other, shook our heads, and talked about it like reasonable adults after he left the room. lol

The truth is, we don't have a lot of candy in the house. So, when there is some, Anakin tends to pig out a little. He's supposed to ask me before he eats any candy, but I'm kinda lax about it, especially if there are other adults in the room. I'm trying to be more trusting, instead of the overbearing mother who goes behind everyone and corrects them or says what they said already and undermines their authority all the time. (It's slow going, and I don't have the balance just right yet.) I just keep forgetting that my mother isn't actually an adult. At least, not mentally. She sees no problem with someone eating candy constantly, and laments that she can't lose weight ever because her metabolism is simply messed up and beyond her control. No, Mother, you're fat because you eat constantly and don't want to do anything about it. Simple as that. Ugh. Trust me, I know the difference, after living with you for as long as I have and having seen others who actually do have that problem.

ANYWAY.

So. Happy chocolate consumption day. If there are children in your house, may they not destroy everything in the throes of their sugar highs. (If you are the child in the house, go nuts. hahaha You only live once!)

I got a better score than my geeky little brother. I was shocked I remembered that much, after so long! But, I always loved science, and chemistry would have rocked my world if it weren't for all the math. haha



In other news, the writing has slowed down to a crawl again. I hate how it comes in unreliable bursts these days. I wonder if I can change that...